we became friends in year 7, back in 2012
you once told me my emotions were very easy to read
for school, you stitched your solar system model and stuffed it with florrie's fur. your pet cloud was so sweet but god was it hard to breathe when she tried to sleep on top of me at a sleepover at yours! she died not long before you did.
you brought cutlery with you so you didn't have to use someone else's, which could be dirty
I think I was one of the first people you told you were trans. Later I came out for you to G in the star wars orb in the arcade
You came to rangers stoned one time and I felt SO betrayed
We'd always have halloween at yours and go trick or treating - most of our parents banned us from going anway, but your dad drove us to the village with the most sweets and we stuck our faces in pumpkins for some reason. The first time I got drunk was watching The Shining with you, halloween 2017 when nobody else came round. This year I'm going to give out sweets for the first time ever!
Jay Lowe
09/09/2000 ~ 22/09/2018
when the others were chatting under the stairs on the ingleborough trip, we put waterproofs on and rolled down that little hill in the rain. we swung so high on the swings that trip, the chains would go loose. and back at coleridge and chinton park you'd swing the basket swing so high while we all lay in it.
I can't find many pics of your album cover tapestries right now, but you were so good at sewing.
I remember at a party you telling L and I that because you'd asked * to call an ambulance, it meant some part of you did want to live. A&E had got you to fill out a survey, though you'd been unconscious most of the time. I squeezed you so hard.
we played silly party kissing games in our gay-ass friendship group. we also had some intense, ridiculous feud over £13 in wine
the first pride I went to was with you, L and R - London Pride 2017
you said I was so bad at keeping secrets, but you told me most of them anyway, and I kept some
you were excited about your new motorbike but we worried you'd crash, especially that time you drank beer at the chalk pit. that's not what happened in the end, though did you break your arm from the motorbike somehow?
in a groupchat you once said you didn't actually think you had aspergers, because of how many of the symptoms were actually to do with dysphoria (e.g. not liking clothes)... it was a different time!
on the morning you died, I awoke to worried texts from L, who was urging me to call your dad. I did, and he said someone had been found on the line but they weren't yet sure who. On the radio on the way to russian school the train delay was mentioned. A few hours later, the news was confirmed - it had been you. I posted on instagram this photo of fireworks we'd seen on parker's piece together. I think that was the last time I saw you, and I'd slapped you. I only told my parents the next day you'd died.
you liked concerts because you could violently mosh and that was allowed. I knew exactly what you meant!
